After Tim Membrey's best effort to give Dylan Roberton a "Don Mattingly from The Simpsons" look, we delved into the archives to find the greatest and most outrageous haircuts to grace the football club.
Warning: Some haircuts may be distressing. Viewer discretion is advised.
Josh Bruce
Source: Herald Sun
The "Urban Ranger" turned plenty of heads in his St Kilda debut against Essendon in 2014 with a fresh hair cut. This *very* short back and sides number complimented by the bushy beard was a "one night only" special, now opting for a "man bun" - the Vogue cut for AFL footballers.
Eli Templeton
Ahh the dredlocks. It took Eli three years to grow them and they quickly became a trademark, transforming Templeton into a fan favourite. We didn't get to see much of the dreds in 2014, breaking his arm against Brisbane in Round 6. They were not to last, getting the chop early in 2015. Eli has began regrowing his hair, but with a much silkier look.
Peter 'Spida' Everitt #1
You could dedicate an entire article to the cuts big Spida had over the years. From the classic shoulder length, to the long dreds, even to the bleached locks - he had it all. Everitt eventually went for the number one all over in the latter stages of his career, but we will never forget the glory days.
Peter 'Spida' Everitt #2
And this...was interesting
Dylan Roberton
The former Docker arrived at the club with a relatively tidy cut, probably more out of necessity. Dylan told Adam Schneider in his episode of Schneiderman that "I only had short hair when I came here because I wanted to make a good impression". Well, his haircuts have certainly made one throughout the journey.
Jason Blake
The bleached hair was big in the early 2000s. Jason Akermanis, Shane Woewodin and Jason Blake. The young budding defender ran the ol' peroxide through his hair in the early stages of 2001 and it didn't last, going back to his natural brunette colour before long. Probably for the best.
Jack Sinclair
The perfect head of hair. No matter how hard he's worked or how much Jack has sweated, his hair will remain the way it looked pre-game. Absolutely perfect.
Fraser Gehrig
The mullet. Business up the front, party out the back. Not only was the "G-Train" famous for his goal kicking and goal square tussles, but also his mullet - which he grew at the height of his powers. Big Frase won the Coleman Medal in 2005 rocking a mullet and much like the biblical figure Samson, his strength no doubt came from the locks.
David Armitage
While David has the hair situation under control now, in the early days he rocked this number. If a mullet is "business at the front, party at the back", is this cut a "non-stop party"?
Trevor Barker
A discussion about St Kilda and hair cuts wouldn't be complete without the late great Trevor Barker. Those blonde locks only added to the legend, which would fly around as he sat on someone's shoulders. The most famous head of hair in the club's history.
Sam Gilbert
For majority of his time at St Kilda, Sam Gilbert sported the beachy blonde surfer locks. It all went a few years ago in the name of charity, and Gilbo now just rocks the traditional clean look.
Robert Harvey
For 20+ years one thing remained consistent with Banger. No, not his high disposal count (which was a regular occurance), but his hair. Harvs maintained the same hair cut throughout his entire career - putting truth to the notion that some things are best left untouched.
Carl Ditterich
Big Carl. Brute enforcer, tough ruckman and "Blonde Bombshell". Arrived at the club as a 17-year-old upstart with the perfect school boy haircut, but before long had the flowing locks to go with his bushy moustache. Ditterich, Barker, Riewoldt - boy we've had some handy blonde footballers.
